Shooting Stars
by MrsChuckBass01
Summary: 1st twilight fan fic. all humans. edward/bella.what would happen if Bella didn't believe that Edward wasn't in love with is ex girlfriend? what if Bella was so scared of getting hurt to the point that she tried pushing Edward out of her life?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Okay so obviously nothing in this story ever happened. The only thing I kept was the names of the characters and the setting. But I hope you guys like it. Oh by the way anything in italics are Bella's thoughts. ***Special thanks to UnreliableVampire. She definitely helped when it came to getting out what I was trying to say…or not trying to say in some cases.**

It was my 2nd summer in Forks and Edward Cullen and I were becoming real friends. We were friends last year, but now it was turning into more, so much more. We talked every day, all day. It was mostly by texting but that was okay with me, I was always better with speaking through the written word anyway.

I think people saw us becoming more than "just friends" be fore we did. Well, at least before I did. We were constantly together no matter what we were doing. Everyone was okay with it. That is, everyone except two people, Tanya and Jacobf. Tanya wasn't part of our group of friends but she _was_ Edward's ex girlfriend and she seemed to think that I was invading her space by being friends with him. She seemed to forget that she was the one that had dumped him over a year ago and that she had broken _his_ heart, not the other way around. Then there was Jacob. No one really knew what his issue was, no one except me. Anytime he saw us getting close, he tried to separate us. He didn't like the fact that we were becoming such amazing friends. It was almost as if he was jealous. Personally, I think he was the first to see what was forming between Edward and me and he didn't like it one bit.

Despite all of these obstacles, we continued to grow closer. I began to understand him in ways others couldn't and he started to understand me better than I understood myself. By the beginning of the 2nd month, I found that I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen. But I knew that he could never fall in love with me, Tanya had made that perfectly clear. I was positive that he wasn't over her yet; I didn't think he ever would be. He had been in love with her just like I was in love with him. That's what everyone kept telling me at least. I tried to hide the way I felt because I didn't want to confuse him. I was scared that if I showed him how I really felt, he would back away and walk out of my life, just like every other important person in my life had.

But then things changed. Things started to get more physical between us. I don't mean sexually but if we were to play a game or something with our friends, he would find some way to bump into me. I have to admit, I occasionally did the same thing.

I noticed the change at a pool party that we went to. Our friend Mike Newton was having a pool party for our group of friends. Our group was a very small one so there weren't that many people. Jacob, Alice, Rosalie, Mike, Jasper, Tyler, Eric, Jessica, Edward, and I were there. To say the least, our time in the pool got pretty…interesting.

The guys started playing a game with one of beach balls. The object of the game was to basically keep possession of the ball. I decided to join in because I was getting extremely bored just sitting on one of the steps. As soon as I got possession of the ball, Edward tackled me. He tried everything he could to pry the ball out of my hands but nothing worked. He was basically on top of me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Jacob had picked up on this. He quickly came over to fix this "problem". He picked me up, with the ball still secured in my grasp, and threw me across the pool. He followed his throw.

"Was that honestly necessary?" I asked. I was pissed.

"Yes actually it was," he responded.

"Why?"

"Because you guys where getting to close. You shouldn't be that close to Edward."

"Oh really? Why not?" I asked, somewhat glad that me and Edward had made him jealous.

"Because," he growled under his breath, "you should be getting close to me."

"Ummm I don't think so. Get over yourself because I told you that it was over. You changed into an arrogant son of a bitch. There's no going back now," I said. By this point, the others were coming over to steal the ball from me and I willingly gave it up. Instead of playing, I sat on one of the steps in the pool. Edward soon joined me. Him and I were pretty close. Actually, scratch that. We were basically squished together even though there was enough room on the step for both of us _and_ another person to fit comfortably. I was surprisingly okay with this. I'm the kind of person that gets very uncomfortable when pushed up against someone, whether I know the person well or not. Within a few minutes, however, Jacob felt the need to join us. He forced himself as close to me as possible and decided that it would be okay if he put his hand on my thigh. It was one of the most awkward and annoying things I have ever experienced. He kept trying to joke around but instead of finding him funny, I found him insanely obnoxious. At one point, I got so sick of him and his "jokes" that I got up and left. Edward didn't like that very much so he pushed Emmett off and called me back over. Edward and I were inseparable the rest of the night.

That summer was the happiest summer of my life. As a matter of fact, it was the happiest time of my life in general. I didn't have to pretend to be happy anymore and I didn't have to be someone I wasn't because I knew that everyone, especially Edward, accepted me. However, there were some confusing emotions. By the end of the last month of summer vacation, I felt like there was something more between Edward and me. I was extremely confused. _Why would he flirt with me, at least I thought he was flirting with me, but not ask me out? _I already knew the answer. I realized it one night in August.

It was a Saturday night and Forks was having it's annual End of the Summer Block Party. It wasn't really a block party because everyone in town went. It was held on the town common. Edward and I were with our group of friends when the queen bee came by. Yes, I'm talking about Tanya. She looked like a model and she watched everything Edward did. At one point she started to go up to him and I just walked away. I should have known things weren't over between them. There was no way that any guy would choose me over a girl that looked like that. She was drop dead gorgeous. She may have hated me and called me a slut when I was really a saint compared to her but I still envied her. I envied that she had everything I wanted in her grasp and I _hated_ that she didn't appreciate it. She took everything for granted…including Edward. She really did have everything. She had the looks, the body, she had every guy after her, and most importantly, she had Edward. I know she had her fair share of problems, too, but I would have taken all of her problems times ten if I fcould have the one person that mattered.

I decided to walk away when she came over. I didn't want to cause any more problems between her and Edward than I already had. If she made him happy, then I could and would be okay with that, I wasn't going to get in the way.

After I saw her walk away I went back over and stood by Edward's side.

"Why did you go away?" he asked.

"I figured it would be smarter if I stayed away. I didn't want to cause any more problems between you guys."

"You don't have to go away when she's near me. Whatever she needs to say she can say it in front of you and everyone else, too."

My friends and I went over to Rosalie's house and sat on her front porch, out of the sudden rainstorm that we were in the midst of. Edward and I sat next to each other and eventually, because of the swarm of people, we were squished into each other. He didn't seem to mind. He actually tried to get closer to me even though it wasn't possible.

At about 9 o'clock, Edward and I left (he was driving me home that night). I had to be home by ten and because it was raining so hard we thought it would be good if we allotted ourselves extra time. At one point during or drive, he held onto my hand. It was as if someone had sent a shock through my body. I had tingles down my spine. Unfortunately, though, he let go of my hand after about a minute. The rest of the drive was pretty boring compared to that one moment.

As we got closer to my house I realized that I was hungry so we stopped at the Wendy's down the street. While we were there we joked around. It was nice. I liked it being just the two of us. We stayed there for about 20 minutes and then he dropped me off at home.

That night we had our first fight via text message…well, kind of. I asked the inevitable question: Are you over Tanya? He couldn't give me a straight answer. So then I asked the next question: Do you like me? At first he tried avoiding the question, then he finally said yes.

"Up until now I thought you were going to be the one I ended up with but now I'm not sure. Earlier you said that you thought she was just trying to make me jealous and maybe you were right. But now I don't know, maybe I'm not over her," he said. He sounded pained by this realization.

"That's okay. Go after her. I want you to be happy. If things don't work out I'll still be here. I always said that I would never be second best but if it means I get you then being second best is okay with me," I said.

"But that's not fair to you."

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't want you to have to wait around for me. I want you to be happy and if you find someone then I want you to be able to move on. It took me over a year to finally move on with my life. I don't want that to happen to you."

"Even if I wanted to let you go, I'm pretty sure I couldn't," I admitted.

Our conversation didn't last much after that. I was scared shitless. I had just gone out on a limb and jumped. I couldn't believe that I had basically just admitted to liking him. For the first time in years, I was vulnerable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I can understand how this chapter might be a bit confusing so PM me if you have any questions. Oh by the way anything in all caps is a text message and anything in italics are Bella's thoughts. PLEASE review! I really want constructive criticism 4 this story.**

"That's it. I can't do this anymore," I said to my best friend Alice the morning after my conversation with Edward.

"Do what?" she asked.

"This whole thing where I don't know if he cares or not.

"Bella, are you crazy? Of course he cares! You don't see things the way everyone else does. You don't see the way he steals glances at you when you're not looking. You don't pick up on the fact that wherever you go, he goes. He's drawn to you just like you are drawn to him. Everyone can see that you guys are made to be together."

"Yeah, everyone except him," I said in defeat.

"He sees it, he really does. I think he's just scared. You remember how badly Tanya broke his heart last year. You'd be scared too if that happened to you."

"Thanks, Alice. That's another thing. I'm pretty positive he's not over her."

"Oh please, don't even go there. I see the way he ignores her and keeps his eyes on you. He is _definitely_ over her."

"I don't think so." Suddenly my phone beeped to let me know I had a new text message. It was from him. Edward Cullen.

HI. HOW ARE U?

_How am I? How am I?! Was he seriously asking me that? How the hell did he think I was? He had been leading me on for months just to tell me that he was going to go back to Tanya. I felt crushed, that's how I felt. For the first time in years I had gone out on a limb and actually jumped, hoping that there would be something or someone at the bottom to catch me but nope, instead I hit the rock hard bottom._

IDK. I THINK IM GOING 2 GO AWAY 4 AWHILE. IM GONNA CUT MYSELF OFF FROM THE WORLD.

After I sent that, I was kind of hoping that he would just say okay and leave me alone. As my phone beeped again I told Alice that I had to go. I knew that this new conversation with Edward was going to leave me crying and I didn't want Jess to know.

Y? DNT DO THAT. U SHUDNT.

Y SHUDNT I?

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT U 2.

_He didn't want me to? Did he honestly just say that? There he goes again, acting like he cares._

Y NOT? ITS NOT LIKE U CARE ANYWAY

OF COURSE I CARE. HOW COULD U SAY THAT?

DNT WORRY ABOUT IT. IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAYS. JUST LET ME GO.

NO. OF COURSE IT MATTERS. PLZ DNT DO THIS. NOT NOW. NOT AFTER EVERYTHING.

_Not now? It's not like anything is going on between us anyways. Anything that we may have had is over now. Why can't he just leave me alone? Why does he have to make this harder than it already is?_

Y NOT? ITS NOT LIKE WE HAV ANYTHING ANYWAYS. IT WAS NICE WHILE IT LASTED.

PLZ. JUST DNT. LET ME TALK 2 U 1ST. I NEED 2 C U.

Y?

PLZ. I RLY WANT 2 C U. PROMISE ME U WONT DO ANYTHING UNTIL AFTER WE TALK.

FINE W.E BUT IDK WEN ILL B ABLE 2 C U

WE NEED 2 FIND A WAY.

OK W.E. I G2G. BYE

What the fuck? He wants to see me. Okay, I think I can deal with that. Maybe. Possibly. Actually no, not really. But who cares if I can't deal with it? I want to see him, too. I don't know if I can live without having him in my life, even if it hurts.

I called him the next day.

"Fine, you want to talk? Let's talk," I said trying to sound strong and confident.

"I don't want to talk to you on the phone. I want to see you. I need to see you," Edward said almost pleadingly.

"Fine whatever. Meet me tomorrow night at the Diner at 7."

"Okay. So , how are you?" he asked.

"Me? Oh I'm just fucking fantastic. I jumped and now I'm falling and I don't know where I'm going to land but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to smash into the ground," I said, feeling a bit hysterical as tears started to form in my eyes and started to rain down my cheeks.

"You don't have to, I'll catch you," he said somewhat quietly.

"I don't want you to," I said. I couldn't do this. It hurt to much. I really didn't want him to catch me because if he did I knew that he would place me down on the ground gently and walk away. I would rather crash and die from the fall than deal with the pain I would have to live with after watching him walk away.

There was no way that I could stay strong much longer so I quickly ended our conversation. The second I hung up the phone, I burst into tears. I cried myself to sleep that night. The last thing I remember before finally drifting off was my body shaking uncontrollably from the pain my heart was going through. I knew I had lost him for good. I had finally hit rock bottom and I wasn't sure if I would be able to live through another heartbreak.

The next morning was horrendous. I had never been so depressed. Not in awhile at least. I refused to get out of bed, I was on the verge of crying at all times, and my body physically ached from all the crying I had done the night before. I wouldn't eat or drink because if I tried I couldn't keep it down. I couldn't understand why this one stupid neurotic boy was having such a strong effect on me. _Why did _he_ have to have such a strong effect on me? What_ _made him so special? Nothing. That's what. I was going to come out unscathed from this minor obstacle in my life…I hoped._

When I finally got out of bed, Charlie was still home.

"You're up late," he said.

"Yeah, I was really tired I guess."

"Okay, well I'm going down to the Reserve to go fishing with Billy. I should be home by ten."

"Okay." I was relieved that Charlie was oblivious to everything. If he noticed that I wasn't myself today, I would have to explain everything and I really _didn't_ want to do that.

I didn't do anything around the house that day, which is very unlike me. Usually I clean up the little messes or do the dishes but today I just didn't have it in me. Basically all I did was sleep. At 6 I woke up and started getting ready to meet Edward.

As I walked to the diner, my stomach started having a spaz attack. I was incredibly nervous. As I approached, I saw him standing there in all of his beautiful glory. My heart, which had stopped beating the second I let him go, suddenly started to beat again. It was a dull, slow, and painful beat, but it was a beat nonetheless.

"Hey," he said, attempting a small smile.

"Hi." I couldn't even muster up a halfhearted smile. This was pathetic.

"So umm…I'm not really that hungry but the elementary school is having a show tonight. That could be cute. Do you want to go see it?"

"Yeah sure, whatever." _So much for talking._

He was right, as usual, they show was pretty cute. About halfway through it I started to relax. I also started to get very tired. Without thinking I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew it was a mistake and that I was just setting myself up for more pain but I couldn't bring myself to move. Then, something unthinkable happened. He rested his head on top of mine. Tears started to silently and gently slide down my cheeks. The pain would come soon enough, it always did.

We didn't talk much after the show. We said goodbye and went our separate ways. When I got back to my house, Charlie still wasn't home so I decided to go to bed. But, of course, Edward wouldn't let me do that. He started texting me just as I was about to fall asleep. Our conversation was the same as the night before. I told him to go back to Tanya. I didn't want him to feel like he owed me anything. If he went out with me, I wanted it to because he wanted to. I didn't want him wondering what would have happened if he went after Tanya.

The next day was our first day of school. Thankfully, we didn't go to the same school. I only had a half-day and it was torture. It wasn't torture because it was school, it was torture because I was severely depressed. I ran to the bathroom in tears in four of my seven classes. It was ridiculous. The worst part was that none of my school friends knew what was going on so they couldn't help talk me through it. I would have told them ,but by telling them they would just keep bringing it up and that would hurt.

After school Edward texted me.

HEY. HOW WAS UR DAY?

HARD. IT BASICALLY SUCKED. HBU?

SAME. IM SRRY.

DNT BE. U HAV NOTHING 2 B SRRY 4. ITS MY FAULT THT 2DAY WAS SO HARD.

NO IT WASN'T. IT WAS MY FAULT.

DNT WORRY BOUT IT. BUT LIKE I SED, IM CUTTING MYSELF OFF FROM THE WORLD.

PLZ DNT. NOT NOW. NOT AFTER ANYTHING. PLZ JUST TALK 2 ME. IM RLY CONFUSED & IM TRYING 2 FIGUR IT ALL OUT & IM CLOSE, I JUST NEED U 2 STAY WITH ME. DNT WALK AWAY YET. PLZ.

My heart hurt. I didn't want to walk away, I couldn't. I could try but I knew it wouldn't work because I was truly _in_ love with him. If my heart had any say in my decision, it would force me to find some way to keep him in my life. I guess that's what I had to do.

Edward and I finished up our conversation. We continued to talk every day for the rest of the week, just as we had that summer. On Friday he insisted on seeing me again but Charlie had specifically told me that he didn't want me going out that night. I wanted to see him though. I knew that there had to be some way we could see each other. Thanks to my stupid heart, I snuck him into the house while Charlie was in the bathroom.

We went upstairs to my bedroom and I gave him a huge hug. I almost started crying because I was so happy to see him. We sat on my bed and we talked. We actually talked this time. He told me that he thought he was over Tanya, that he was almost positive. He also said that there was no way that I could ever be second best compared to her because I should be first. I didn't know what to say to any of this. I also couldn't entirely focus because our bodies were constantly touching and I had to focus on keeping my heart rate under control.

For awhile we just sat there, enjoying each other's company and enjoying our time alone, away from all of our other friends. At this point, I was sitting on the floor and he was lying on my bed. I turned to look into his eyes, to see if they could tell me how he was feeling about this whole thing. I guess in a way it was a mistake to look into his eyes because as soon as I did, I couldn't look away. They were deep and confusing and they held me. Suddenly, he leaned in. Our heads got closer together extremely slowly. Then he finally moved the extra inch and his lips were on mine. My heart flipped and suddenly started to beat again. It felt like I had fireworks in my chest and tingles down my spine. No one else's kiss had ever affected me in such a way and I knew that no one else's ever would.

Edward stayed for another hour before he left. We didn't do much. I almost fell asleep against him. It was nice. Then when he finally did leave, he kissed me one more time. I still had the tingles down my spine.


	3. MOVED

**Apparently nobody seems to like this story and I don't either because I had to twist the actual story into a Twilight fan fic. I decided to post the REAL version on . It has the same title and my pen name on fiction press is Jenn Jenzie.**


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